Dead-Eye Dick
Dead-Eye Dick
Date of birth:10/31/2241
Date of death:N/A
Occupation:Nomadic Scavenger
Status:Wandering between Texas and Louisiana
"Meat's meat, a hole's a hole."
―Dead-Eye Dick
A fetid stench rolls across the wasteland, heralding the arrival of Dead-Eye Dick. A marksman of unparalleled skill in long range weapons, he fears nothing a hundred yards away. Dressed only in his trusty loincloth and Brahmin scrotum belt pouches, accompanied by his faithful vulture companions, with a lusty gleam in his eye and infected, dripping pustules, he roams the wastes, looking for a place to call home and a meal to fill his belly.


Early Years

Named in the family tradition of identifying children by their most prominent deformity, Dead-Eye Dick grew up in the swamps of Louisiana with his sister, mother, and father; living off whatever they could shoot. Growing up in isolation, Dead-Eye and his sister Cross-Eye Dick experimented with sex early. They experienced cannibalism by proxy when, in a fit of rage (and hunger) they immediately killed and ate the mutant alligator that ate their parents. This disturbing turn of events led to their expulsion from their Swamper clan family and subsequent banishment to the deeper swamps. Shortly afterward Cross-Eye died in childbirth, leaving Dead-Eye alone in the world, so he left the swamps behind, swearing to never let no water what ain't fall from the sky touch him again. So at the tender age of 16, he set out towards Nawlens which he hoped would be dryer and a veritable feast without the interference of his former clan mates. Finding the slightly drier climate agreeable to his trench foot, he walked all the way to south Nawlens. On the way, he encountered his first Raider, whom he shot in the testicles from a hundred and fifty yards away. He dragged the wounded man, screaming through the swamp, cutting off what he needed to avoid hunger. His first acquaintance out of the swamp didn't survive the trek, but Dead-Eye made two new friends in the form of a pair of vultures attracted to the overwhelming stench of death that surrounded him. Naming them "Dolce," and "Chanel," after his late Mother's favorite Pre-War Hooch, he wiled away the hours spent walking regaling the birds with wildly false accounts of his life. The birds were attentive listeners, if a bit hungry, after eating what remained of the raider's corpse they pecked out Dead-Eye's namesake blind eye. The three found each other to be good company and are inseparable to this day. Although filling out due to a highly nutritious diet of raider on the way to Nawlens, his new found sunburn was causing problems with his boils, leaving him with a scabrous carapace that caused the locals to initially confuse him with a ghoul. After arriving in the vicinity he is contacted by Obed who arranges employment for him as a “zombie” enforcer. He found the work to be steady, horrifying anyone whom Obed sic’d him on. Having all the local meat he could eat, his only other need was softer company than Dolce and Chanel provided. After convincing the local prostitutes to take hazard pay (under the condition that there be no light, and that they make no protest when he called them "Cross-Eye"), he spent every cap he earned on Jimmy-Hats and prostitutes. He was ostracized when it was discovered that his mutant strains of venereal diseases overpowered the condoms, leaving south New Orleans with a shortage of clean escorts. They were never able to prove whether he was also to blame for a rash (figuratively and literally speaking) of sexual assaults on inebriated members of the Obed’s other enforcers, but they were happy to be rid of him all the same, and in 2260 he fled for his life from the Gendarmerie after they witnessed the horror of his sexual and dietary deviance.

Later Years

During his aimless exodus out of New Orleans, he stumbled across Baton Rouge. The police state atmosphere stood in stark contrast to the debauchery in the Big Easy, and when he saw a pair of border guards hassling some travelers for a bribe he decided that he would not be subjected to that kind of bullshit. He shot the guards once the travelers were gone and stocked up on meat and ammo for the road, then carried on north; eventually passing into Mississippi.


Dead-Eye is tall, gangly, and covered in a mass of seeping boils, scabs, and pustular sores. He has greasy black hair that's roughly cut with no regard for style and a single dark eye. His lips are perpetually chapped and bleeding on account of his teeth, which are filed to uneven points.

Abilities & Skills

tag skills: Guns, Sneak, Survival
skills: Barter X
Energy Weapons X
Explosives X
Guns X
Lockpick X
Medicine X
Melee Weapons X
Repair X
Science X
Sneak X
Speech X
Unarmed X
karma level: Very Evil

Dead-Eye is hideous and unsophisticated, but he picks up more than he lets on and is very nimble for his height. He is a frighteningly accurate shot, and not remotely interested in close quarters fighting. A shameless coward, Dead-Eye is skilled in concealment and camouflage; from which he can incapacitate or kill his dates/foes/meals before approaching them to talk smack and engage in romance. Because he is frequently shunned or driven out of civilization, he has learned to live off the land.


Dead-Eye doesn't usually wear more than a tattered, stained loincloth and belt; from which hang his Brahmin-scrotum pouches. The pouches are filled with rifle rounds, jimmy hats, and bits of food. His panty-decorated, scoped hunting rifle is slung over his back when not in use. He rarely carries more than this; but he will keep the spoils of battle when he thinks he will need to barter.