I invite you to read the rules, which can be found by following this link, and adjusting this article accordingly. Thanks.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 07:20, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

So I read the article and I have to admit its well written. Just a few questions though, first off exactly how did the Immortals save themselves from the Boise Mutants with a "Gatling Laser and a Giddyup Buttercup" this seems like something that could use some expansion to avoid looking like a joke or some other kind of stupidity. As for the references to Elder Julian and Captain Ford fighting each other in Power Armor, you might want to consult T42 about that as he is the one who wrote the Idaho Brotherhood of Steel. To that end, do you really thing that a Brotherhood Elder would be out fighting? Next is the mention of Power Armor. This kind of equipment is usually heavily regulated by the rules on acount of its general misuse in the past. However as your faction only has two-three suits I don't think this will be too much of an issue but as OvaltinePatrol said above READ THE RULES. Ignoring them is a good way to get your work deleted, anger other users, and in severe cases bans. Although that last one isn't an often occurence. Either way its a good article. CaptainCain (talk) 12:01, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

I admit, the "Gatling Laser and a Giddyup Buttercup" part was supposed to be a joke, kind of referencing their supposed deadliness in Mothership Zeta.

The fight between Julian and Ford is referenced as an unsubstantiated rumor and possibly nothing more.

The power armor is a relic from the groups time in the U.S. Army and extremely limited.

Overall, I can see why you are concerned. The article is a work in progress and I thank you for your comments.

MongoosePirate (talk) 6:39, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

You might also want to check with T42 about the part when they get press ganged into luther's warhost, and then the warhost was destroyed, as he dis plan for them to be a major faction in the city. the boi Walrus (talk) 03:32, May 11, 2015 (UTC)

I'll check on that. There just wasn't much information on them, besides the Boise Bous killing one of their lieutenants. MongoosePirate (talk) 10:51, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

Having read this in a little detail, I find that it is roughtly well written and would be a welcome eidtion with some serious tweaks here and there. First off the Mutant horde is not so much a faction as a force of nature, think your classic zombies and you'll get the idea. They're a roaving horde much like locusts or ants, attacking in large bands and either continuing to attack until they either die, win, or lose intrest. Rewrite accordingly. Meanwhile, the idea of blitzkreigs with only thirty men is a little silly dontcha think? While three may have power armor, that is still the rough equivalant of a SWAT team trying to fight though a small town's worth of shambling abominations and raiders. At most raw survival is all you can kinda ask for, fighting on the sidelines. Taking on the Elder... eh I might be willing to let that slide for the most part, its handled with respect for the most part. Ill read more later, but so far, I just think a little toning down would be good.T42 (talk) 21:52, May 11, 2015 (UTC)

Okay so yeah that bit about the Warhost is questionable, espeically since their supposed to be a main line faction. Having them press ganged in is fine but the death of the warhost itself is a no go. Meanwhile, I can suppose you could slip away in the ensuing chaos, but looting the hell out of the warhost is also a no fly. You can gather up some AR's and such for sure but none of the heavy hardware. Sides, how would a bunch of Ghouls even manage to utilize and heft miniguns and rocket launchers while slipping away from a band of Super Mutants?T42 (talk) 04:00, May 12, 2015 (UTC)

1. I had changed it so that all that happened was that the Immortals' nightkin "commander" was killed by Chainsaw and they managed to slip away. 2. Guess I should have been more specific. When I said they took some equipment, I meant mostly small arms and ammunition, not mini guns and rocket launchers. MongoosePirate (talk) 23:24:39, May 11, 2015 (UTC)

Then there is little issue, I'll continue reading as usual, I really do appreciate the depth and length of this article, its a nice peice of work to be honest.T42 (talk) 04:58, May 12, 2015 (UTC)